Thread: How do I handle when my parents start dating other people?

They are legally separated and have hinted they are seeing people. I think this going to be sprung on us kids by surprise. I am 23 so I think I will handle it but my younger siblings will find it confusing and upsetting. Any advice?

You handle it by realizing they need to be happy too. And whoever they are seeing makes them happy. They will obviously not be together, so you don't want them to be lonely.

I was 13 when my parents split and started dating other people. They are so much happier with the new spouses. Here I am at 30 and now I have 4 parents to love and to love me and a bigger family. Take it in stride. Sometimes it's bad and sometimes it's good. The younger ones will understand if not right away, in time.

what age are they? if they are too young to understand the concept of being separated/divorced, explain to them that your parents have a new 'friend' that they will be spending time with. your parents should know how to act around them so shouldn't be too over the top with it.
if they are older children remind them that they aren't together anymore and that they have the right to be happy. tell them that even though they are with other people it doesn't mean they care any less for each other (or the children), but that now they care in a different way and still love their children more than anyone in the world.

you could even, and i know that it may not be right, tell them that it's their new 'uncle/aunt' and that they will be seeing them more often now

It will probably feel weird to you as well. Maintain your communication with your siblings. That will help alot to know they have a big brother they can talk to.

Your parents need to rebuild their lives. Be happy for them that they are doing just that. That is what you can explain to your little brother. They still love you both just the same, but they also want to build a new future for themselves. ALl the best.

Wrong. They aren't springing anything on you - they're letting you know they are seeing people.

And your siblings will only find it confusing and upsetting is you make it confusing and upsetting.

Don't project your feelings onto your sibs.

My parents have been divorced since I was nine, and my mum has had 3 boyfriends since, what you need to tell your sibling is that even though they are divorced they both still love you, and make sure you explain to them what is happening, because if you keep them in the dark things will get worse and they will become even more confused, where as if you sit them down and carefully explain that your mum and dad are seeing other people they may have a better understanding. Make sure they know your mum and dad, are not trying to replace each other, and even if they do see other people they won't become their new mum or dad if they don't wan them to. But again most importantly keep reminding them that their parents still love them. Also make sure the new boyfriend or girlfriend is kind and does not hurt them or stop them from seeing their parents.

I actually would "turn it around"& make a positive out of it instead of a negative. I'd be happy for BOTH of them they at least have found happiness instead of going thru a depression by being alone & hurting! It WOULD be much worse if one or both of them were adversely affected in a negative way & actually suffering instead of finding happiness. To me, this IS a good thing as apposed to something to have to worry about. They both have to be in good moods vs bad depressed moods which could have very well happened. No, unfortunately it didn't work out between them, but at least both of them are now happy. How much MORE that means to KNOW they are happy & it not affecting your siblings in a sad situation. You being the older one can be of so much help to the younger ones depending on your impute on how you are handling it. If they see or hear you're happy for them, they too can be affected by your vibes on how you're handling it. You can try to explain this to them & try to have them too "turn it around" into a positive vs a negative. understand the situations. So try to keep an attitude of gratitude they at least are now living happy lives. This DOES mean so much as I've "been there"& know far too well how it feels to break up with an ex husband/wife. It helps give them more of a positive purpose on all aspects of their lives believe it or not. You CAN make a difference if you handle it in the rite way & transfer it along to them too. I so wish you ALL the best, honey...